Don't Be My Valentine
by MsPringles
Summary: Apparently Fran has no idea what it means to give someone chocolate on Valentine's day. Varia weekend getaways rarely end well. B26, frog hat, and Squalo. Rated T for drinking and light violence.


_In which Fran has no idea what giving chocolate to someone on Valentine's day means._

**Don't Be My Valentine**

Valentine's day is never appreciated in the Varia headquarters. The elite squad always has a strange atmosphere hanging around them during Valentine's Day, as if they were extra sensitive on that day. It annoyed everyone to see lovey-dovey couples being loud and obnoxious on the streets, which is why they always go on vacation.

Despite objections from the Vongola headquarters, the Varia purchased a rather lovely holiday house in Japan. They had several mansions all over the world, and often visited them during useless holidays or when Xanxus starts a raging shooting spree. The mansion is located in Hokkaido, which can get quite cold sometimes. It's located by the sea shore, and hidden by a rich forest. There aren't many other buildings around it, and people are rarely seen within its vicinity.

Fran went to town early in the morning to buy milk, and a new refrigerator. Bel was drunk and got caught in the moment the previous night while dancing with himself, as a result he accidentally flung a dozen knives at the fridge, piercing the cover, and also cutting all the cords. Fran hoped they'd get steel covers on the furniture next time, or even better, just get rid of Bel.

His large frog had felt heavy, and he was tempted to take it off. He was in town, surely no one would see… No. Last time he attempted this Bel almost sliced him to pieces, because it turns out Bel set various devices (better named alarms) that would contact his phone as soon as the hat is removed. Fran proceeded onto buying milk without risking his life.

xxxXXXxxx

Bel woke up with a raging migraine. He drank too much the previous night, and now he would gladly commit seppuku if it'd distract him from the pain in his head. He got up slowly, carefully picking his way through his junk littered floor. He recognized a few empty bottles of vodka in one corner of the room, and also spotted a large empty box of pizza.

Vodka with pizza? ew.

Bel made his way down to the kitchen. Still dresses in his pyjamas, he remembered it's Valentine's day. He personally does not care much for days like this, since he holds no interest in common girls. They made to much noise, did too much unnecessary things, and their choice in perfume always put him off. Once in a while he'd meet a girl that stands out from the rest, but to him, they are all one-use-only.

Speaking of dates. Where is his frog?

He roamed around the kitchen, unable to recollect what he was after. Then he recalled how he broke the fridge the previous night. His knives were still stuck in the machine and wall.

Squalo walked in to see the prince plucking knives out from the half destroyed kitchen while swinging slightly on his tiptoes. The commander wondered if they made a mistake somewhere while raising him up, and then shorty realized the never raised him up at all. Bel had the appearance of a twenty-three years old, but his mental state wasn't that much more than the eight year old he once was.

"Ah? Squ. Where is the frog?" Belphegor asked as he scratched his stomach.

Squalo ignored the obvious lack of manners, "He went to buy milk…and a new fridge." the commander replied as he sent accusing stares to Bel. "You were so drunk you might as well as have been flying through the flowery gardens of Tenochtitlan."

Belphegor cocked his head to one side, and looked at Squalo with a sadistic smile, "I wasn't, it was somewhere far, far better." He swung himself around as if dancing waltz, "I was back to the day when my tragic brother was…"

Squalo hurried out of the kitchen before he could hear the details.

xxxXXXxxx

Belphegor slouched on the couch, munching on a digestive cookie while paying minimum attention to the television. The rest of the squad went out for a drink in a local bar, but since Bel was already hung-over they left him to chill his head. Fran had yet to return from his long shopping trip. The Varia holiday house was empty, aside from Bel.

The prince missed his frog. He needs someone to go to the bathroom and fetch him a new cold towel, not to mention opening the window-door of the living room, he needed some fresh air.

Bel is just that lazy. He can't really survive in the world without someone running his errands for him. Namely, Fran.

_Ding Dong_

Bel jerked up. It's the doorbell! The doorbell! His frog is home! Despite being overjoyed by the return of his 'best friend', Bel remained on the couch- there really is no point getting up, especially when, well, he is the prince of sloth, after all.

Fran stood outside the door, leaning against the door frame and cursing himself for forgetting the key. There's no way anyone in the squad is going to come all the way to the front door just to let him in. He walked around the house to reach the spacious windows of the living room, he peeked in and saw his senpai lazing on the couch. He mouthed the blonde to come and open the window-door, but the only response he got was a swift flip of the prince's wrist. A millisecond later, oddly shaped knives shattered the glass door.

"Wow senpai, that was helpful." Fran remarked as he picked his way through the broken glass.

"Hm. It's not for a prince to open doors for ugly frogs." Bel replied.

Fran sighed. "I bought milk, and also a new fridge. The fridge should arrive in the afternoon." He then dropped a large bag in front of the prince. "I also picked up some discounted goods. But I think I bought too much, so I'm giving some to you."

Bel peeked into the plastic bag, and saw an overwhelming amount of red, heart shaped chocolates. He stared. Did Fran honestly just give him chocolate on Valentine's Day? Ah, no. He merely offered some. Bel doesn't have to accept them, right. But, uh, those chocolates look very delicious…

"No, I don't want them. You can eat them by yourself." Bel said, "You've been gaining weight recently, too." He added as an afterthought.

Fran shrugged, and disappeared into the kitchen.

As much as Bel wanted to accept the chocolate and gobble them down, his pride wouldn't let him. He's pretty sure Fran wasn't aware of the Japanese's habits of chocolate giving on Valentine's Day, and neither did he realize the meaning of it either. It's much less satisfying to receive the chocolate when the giver has no idea what he's doing.

xxxXXXxxx

After putting the milk into the broken fridge, Fran picked up his bag of chocolate to bring up to his room.

'_Soft minky, warm minky, little ball of fur_…' He hummed lightly, skipping up the stairs, '_drowned minky, dead minky, mur mur mur…'_

There were days when he'd feel rather homicidal, and suicidal. Or both. During those days Fran felt the need to shut himself in his room and drown himself in his illusions. He'd create an entire world behind the walls of his room, he'd get lost in it, and he'd be able to do whatever he wants. This is one of those days.

He bolted his door and windows carefully, and closed the curtains tightly. The only light source in the room is the small fire crackling in his fireplace. He wondered whether or not he should take off his hat, but in the end he thought it unnecessary since his unwanted senior would bother him to no end for the rest of the week.

Fran sat down in front of the small fire. He folded his legs and closed his eyes, allowing his stress to seep out of his body.

He shut away the world.

xxxXXXxxx

Bel thought nothing of them burning smell that drifted to the living room, the house might be burning down but he won't move until it's absolutely necessary, because come on, if the house is going to burn down, the most he can do is to wait for it to do so, and he's more comfortable waiting on the couch than the lawn. He stretched himself out into a more comfortable position, and gazed at the ceiling. He was about to close his eyes for a nap when a strong vibration broke through his phone. It's the hat alarm. Fran took off his hat.

Bel bolted up straight, flipped his way across the living room and rushed upstairs. He was about to burst into Fran's room when he realized the doors were locked, therefore upon no hesitation, he opened is box weapon and had Mink burn down the door.

Fran sat with his legs folded, munching on a pack of chocolate while watching a blazing bonfire in the fireplace, in the middle of which was the frog hat.

He didn't move his head, but only cast a small glance towards Bel's direction with his eyes. For a moment Belphegor stood and watched the scene before him, unable to decide whether to punch Fran in the face first or save the hat.

In the end he decided to punch Fran first.

As the teal haired boy crashed against the floor, a dark green mass was released from under his body. Bel dodged the first slash from the illusions, dissembled the second with a pair of knives, but took the third bunch right on the back. The green slime weighed him down flat against the ground close to where Fran laid, legs still folded.

Fire spread throughout the room: the door which Bel burnt down, the bonfire, and bits of chocolate wrapping caught fire rather fast. Fran still lay motionless on the floor, in the sitting position he had been in before Bel punched him. Covered in imaginary slime, the prince struggled to regain his composition while shouting at Fran to get up.

Fran didn't stir for a moment. Then he blinked twice, and dropped the chocolate he was holding. The slime disappeared from Belphegor almost immediately, and he jumped up.

"Ah, senpai, you set fire to the house?" Fran asked.

"Did not, I only burnt the door down." Bel replied, feeling a smirk working its way to his face. "Let's get out of this place, too late for fetching a bucket of water.'

"Uh." Fran agreed. His illusions won't do any good against real fire. He watched Bel as he leaped out of the window, landing gracefully on a tree nearby. Just before following his the prince, he noticed the plastic bag containing chocolates laying on the floor. It hasn't caught fire yet, so Fran walked over to pick it up.

'_I set fire, to the house. Watched it burn, as I…'_ Fran sang as he settled down next to his senpai on the tree. They sat down side by side to watch the magnificent sight in front of them. Orange and red flames soared into the sky, occasionally caused a television to explode somewhere in the house. _'…munched away-y…'_ Fran continued. Bel relaxed his limbs slightly, and mourned silently for the expensive, limited edition frog hat. He flicked a glance at Fran, who appeared extremely satisfied.

'Chocolate?' Fran offered.

Belphegor supposed that Fran has no idea what offering chocolate to people on Valentine's day means, and that greatly lessens his desire to eat the calories. But at this moment, it really didn't matter. Fran was offering him chocolate, and whether it was with purpose, or out of 'kind-heartedness', Bel wasn't passing the chance.

'We're going to need more than just a new fridge.' Bel said as the chocolate melted in his mouth.

xxxXXXxxx

**A/N: Ha, this fic is only…a month late. /sobs Originally was supposed to be finished by V-day, but I got busy with school and it had to be postponed. Anyways here's my first B26 fic, I hope you like it! **

**Review if convenient. If inconvenient, review anyways. **


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